I am back after 2 "no-content" blogs of junk...

For 1... my exams are over... don't ask me how it went... cos' lets just say 1) i did not finish my law paper 2) my consumer behaviour was a mess... never felt so terrible about a paper..not just after the paper..but even before the paper... i felt like i was so so dead...anyway..its over and i can't do much about it anymore...

Have to start getting back my fitness..played tennis witih Bern and Qing on Thursday night... and boy... AM I UNFIT!!! after an hour.. i was panting..and the feeling was exactly the same as that gatorade ad... where they have a guy or gal running pulling a weight behind? yeahz..the feeling that you are putting in so much energy but not generating that same power..sucks...

Haven't been sleeping very well either... I am a person who usually sleeps like a dead log... once i knock out.. its all the way till morning.. but been waking up every few hours since exams ended... and when i pull myself out of bed.. i just feel exhausted..like i haven't slept much the whole night..even if i did sleep 6 or more hours... its so not me... my eye bags are starting to weigh a ton..sighz....

Its a feeling that so many things happen throughout the day that my brain is exhausted..but it keeps working through the night cos' there are unfinished things... or "unprocessed" thoughts... and even though i'm sleeping..the brain is still working... ok.. maybe this sound non-sensical.. but i just feel that way...

Maybe its just me... always doing what I am "pro" at... worrying... about everything... maybe its lack of trust in myself... in every step I take.. a doubt that I am doing the right thing... the need for reassurance in what I am doing... the fear that the people I love may not be always around for me... the expectations people have for me and I have for myself... if I can live up to them..just the fact if there is something I should be doing that I am not doing...Is it really that fear deep down in me?... or are these all just excuses I make...






posted by Jing at 11:20 AM